Falling Out
by spitzthecat
Summary: Josh makes a decision in the wake of recent events. Postep to Constituency of One, Disaster Relief and Separation of Powers


"I had to write a letter," CJ announced, flopping down on a semi-empty chair in Josh's darkened office. She was pretty sure they were the only two people left in the West Wing.

"At least you still have a job," Josh muttered in reply. He was sitting with his face resting on a teetering stack of memos and reports. This was the second worst birthday of his life.

"A letter, birthday boy! Retracting what I said about the EPA report!" CJ glared at her colleague until he picked his head up and looked at her. She was trying to let him know they all screwed up from time to time.

"Yeah, well, at least when the hearings start you can say you were publicly against it from the minute you found out about it." Josh peeled a piece of paper off his cheek and leaned back in his chair.

"Hearings?" CJ repeated in confusion.

Josh nodded. "Carrick's resignation. It said the first thing he was going to do as a Republican was encourage the Majority Leader to open hearings on the White House tampering with independent agency reports."

"At least I'm not the only one Leo's pissed at," CJ attempted to joke her colleague out of his funk. While Josh's actions precipitated a political disaster, it was something Leo could mitigate if he wanted to.

"I repeat, at least you still have a job."

This time she heard him and her face paled. "He didn't..."

"Not yet," Josh scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sure it'll come tomorrow. After the Leadership and DNC weigh in."

"It's not like Chris Carrick wasn't really a Republican anyway," CJ protested. "How many times has he stabbed us in the back and claimed he had to do it to get re-elected?"

Josh shrugged.

"What are we doing here, Josh? I mean literally. What are we doing?" CJ leaned back, searching for the reasoning behind everything that had consumed them the past few months.

"I don't know," he replied, unable to constrain his frustration any longer. "I feel like every time I turn around we're giving away everything we fought so hard for, just so we don't have to fight anymore or get bad press. I know the poll numbers are down, but they're not going to get better if we don't start standing up for what we believe in."

"What do we believe in? Tell me you believe in assassinating foreign leaders and settling for 'Bingo Bob' Russell and doctoring independent agency reports, Josh. Tell me you believe in denying asylum to people who live under horrific, dictatorial regimes for no other reason than it might make negotiating treaties harder? Look at me and tell me you believe in those things!" the Press Secretary fumed, her anger forcing her to stand and pace the cluttered confines of the office.

Josh looked at his friend through tired, bloodshot eyes and wondered not only what they had become, but whether he wanted to be a part of it anymore. He shook his head in defeat, knowing they didn't have the power to fix the problem.

The only person who did wasn't in the game.

CJ nodded, knowing he didn't agree with the recent course of events any more than she did.

"We need a win," Josh whispered vehemently. "Just one. Just one fucking thing we don't roll over on."

Jed Bartlet couldn't hear all of the conversation emanating from behind the closed door, but he could certainly hear CJ's frustrated yelling and the low tones he knew were indicative of Josh not disagreeing with her sentiments.

He turned without interrupting their discussion and continued wandering the quiet hallways. Quiet at least until he arrived in Communications where Toby stood in the doorway to Will's office. The Communications Director was whipping his trademark pink ball against the wall with a force requiring no words to convey his annoyance.

Bartlet saw Will through the window, calmly packing the few things he'd accumulated over the past six months into cardboard boxes. It was possible it was his imagination, but he thought the young man looked almost gleeful at the prospect of escaping the West Wing and its increasingly fractious occupants.

After his self-imposed isolation from the staff, it was shocking to see the open fissures in the bedrock foundation the Administration was built on.

The next stop was his Chief of Staff's office. Margaret was gone, allowing Jed to lurk unseen near the open door and listen to Leo's half of a phone conversation.

"No, sir. I can promise you it will be a cold day in hell before Josh Lyman has any influence to wield at a city council meeting, let alone in the Oval Office. No, sir, I can't fathom what would have prompted that article either. CJ wasn't speaking for the Administration. I agree coal is an invaluable resource and it has gotten a bad rap. No, she was speaking for herself and she issued a retraction saying so. I'll fax it over to your office when we finish. I do agree these are difficult times, Congressman. I appreciate your willingness to discuss these matters. Thank you, sir."

"Late night," Bartlet observed, casually meandering into Leo's office with his hands in his pockets.

His old friend stood. "You read Carrick's letter, Mr. President?"

"No great loss," Jed shrugged, remembering any number of past votes foiled by the Honorable Senator from Idaho.

"The Leadership has their knickers in a knot over it," Leo warned.

"They want Josh's head," Bartlet surmised.

"I'm tempted to give it to them."

Jed shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, wondering about the source of the building acrimony between Leo and his deputy. Hell, Leo and the entire staff.

"Decide what you want to do, but talk to me before you do it."

"Are you done with the OMB report?" Donna asked, appearing in her boss's doorway. "Angela needs to look at it before the budget meeting tomorrow morning."

Budget meeting? Tomorrow? Why did Donna know about a budget meeting and he didn't?

'Because, dumbass, Leo doesn't want you there,' Josh scolded himself. 'Nobody wants you around.'

He was hard pressed to blame it all on the mess with Carrick. Even before that Leo was leaving him out of the loop with increasing frequency.

None of that was Donna's fault, he reminded himself. Donna had been, as Toby put it, making sure he kept his head down and took his medication.

"Yeah, here." He closed the report he'd been going over and handed it to his assistant without looking at her. Over the past day or two, he'd started to wonder if Donna even worked for him anymore. She was spending most of her workday with Angela.

"The hell with it," Josh muttered after Donna had retreated from his office.

It was 5:30 on Friday afternoon, there was nothing on his schedule until Senior Staff on Monday morning. He saw no purpose in sitting around the office, waiting for people to stop by and tell him to keep his chin up.

"Donna? Do you know where Josh is?" CJ caught up to the younger woman as she sped down the hall.

"No," Donna replied, clearly harried. "I got a report from him around 5:30 and I've been in meetings ever since. Do you need something?"

"No..." CJ slowed and let Donna cruise on ahead.

She wanted to take him out for a beer, reassure him things would get better. It wasn't like Josh to not be in his office at 9 o'clock on a Friday night and for Donna to not know where he'd gone made the situation worrisome.

"Did you find him?" Toby materialized beside her. He was looking for Josh as well, but for entirely different reasons.

"I think he left for the night," CJ said slowly.

"It's 9 o'clock," Toby scoffed. "Josh hasn't left early since..."

He stopped, unable to remember when Josh had left this early voluntarily.

CJ could feel the migraine pressing at her temples. "Tell me again why I work here?"

The digital clock on the rental car's dashboard read 2:00 am when Josh pulled into the hotel parking lot.

He dropped his bag by the door and collapsed onto the bed. His mind kept replaying scenes from the past couple of weeks and he fleetingly wondered when his professional life had spiraled out of control again. He didn't want to dwell on why he'd fled DC for the anonymity of Boston, but his brain refused to avoid the subject.

Checking his voicemail, Josh wasn't surprised to hear a message from CJ. She'd been keeping tabs on him since the whole thing started. Despite the hour, he pressed the button to return her call – needing to hear a friendly voice.

"CJ Cregg." It was obvious she had been dead asleep.

"Josh Lyman," he replied with a genuine chuckle.

"Josh! What do you want? I was sleeping," she half-whined, half-demanded.

"You called me. What did you want?"

"I didn't... Oh, yeah, I did. I was wondering if you wanted to go get a beer and talk or something." CJ blinked her eyes against the darkness of her bedroom.

"You were willing to be seen in public with me?" Josh snorted.

"We don't all think you're a pariah."

"Yeah."

Even over the phone, she knew he didn't believe her.

"Josh..."

"Don't, CJ. Just... I just..."

"You did the right thing." Her words ended Josh's stuttering protest.

"You did the right thing," she repeated when he didn't say anything. "Granted, it pissed a lot of people off, but it was the right thing."

"Then at least the last thing I did will have been the right thing."

"Josh... please don't... you wouldn't think of doing anything..."

"I've gotten some offers. Impressive offers," Josh qualified.

"What does Donna say?"

"I haven't talked to her about them."

CJ chewed her lip, unsure of what was going on between Josh and his assistant. She knew Donna staunchly supported Josh and the young woman had done an impressive job of keeping him on course in the first days after Carrick's defection. It was a relationship she envied, the total trust and support the two found in one another.

The only thing she could think to say played on that trust. "Promise me you'll talk to her before you decide anything."

"I can't do that."

"Where are you?" she asked.

"Not in Washington," was all he was willing to admit.

"Promise me you'll talk to Donna before you do anything. Please, Josh?" CJ pleaded.

She was one of the few people who knew Josh had kept an offer in his hip pocket for almost a year. After a few too many beers and a run-in with Amy Gardner during a Rock the Vote event in Boston, Josh admitted he was going back to D.C. a few hours after the rest of them because he was having breakfast with an old friend of his who was running one of the centers at the JFK School of Government. A breakfast, she later learned, that had included the carrot of Senior Policy Director.

"No promises," he replied. "I can't. I'm sorry."

'I'm too damn old to for this shit,' Josh thought when he woke to the morning sun flickering across his face.

He sat up with a groan, noting with dissatisfaction how badly his back and leg ached. The constant pain he lived with had been like a background buzz for the past few years, but in recent months it had flared up again, bringing with it periodic anxiety attacks and some infrequent late night PTSD episodes. Hiding everything from his co-workers was becoming a challenge. Which was all the more reason to consider the private sector. Collecting his bag, he headed for the bathroom to shower and change clothes. His meeting was at 10 o'clock and it was already 8:30.

He tried not to limp as he made his way across Harvard Yard. The Center for Business and Government at the JFK School of Government was offering him a position more than commensurate with his years of public service. It was something he felt okay with looking at simply because they had been after him for months to come up and look the place over. The director had called on Wednesday afternoon and reaffirmed his interest in having Josh on the faculty.

"This is not going well," Angela Blake murmured she stalked out of the Roosevelt Room with Donna at her elbow. She bee-lined into the women's bathroom – a place guaranteed to be Republican-free. "I don't know why he just doesn't turn Josh loose on these guys."

"The DNC is pissed at Josh and this is how Leo is punishing him," Donna replied.

"Leo is punishing Josh by keeping him out of this catfight? Some punishment," Angela scoffed, applying fresh powder to her nose. "Leo either needs to ball up and say 'Josh is our guy' or he needs to fire him."

Donna felt torn helping the older woman with the budget meetings, but – as Leo had rather tersely pointed out – she'd done the prep work for Josh, therefore she was the one Angela needed. Her focus was elsewhere, however, and she doubted she was much help to Leo's handpicked lead negotiator.

Josh's mysterious disappearance last night, his failure to respond to her pages or voicemails and his absence today were a troubling string of events. Angela voicing her opinion that Leo needed to fire Josh added to feeling of dread inside her. Josh wasn't stupid, even though he acted that way sometimes. He could read the writing on the wall as well as anyone and he did have pride even after the last week.

"How long do we have before the next round starts?" Donna asked, suddenly needing to know if CJ had tracked Josh down last night.

"About thirty minutes. Is something wrong?"

"I just need to check in with CJ on something real quick."

Donna scurried through the hallways and burst into CJ's office without knocking. She slammed the door shut.

"What's going on?" she demanded.

CJ looked up from her laptop. "The President is going to New Hampshire tonight to see Zoey. There are budget meetings in the Roosevelt Room. The Secretary of Defense is a sanctimonious prick who thinks he's the reincarnation of George Patton. Otherwise, not much. Why?"

"With Josh, CJ. Did you ever find Josh last night?" Donna clarified.

The Press Secretary leaned back and surveyed the younger woman standing in front of her desk. She debated whether or not to tell her what Josh had said. On one hand, it was Josh's place to tell Donna what he was doing. On the other, she knew nobody cared more for or was more worried about Josh than Donna. The look of absolute concern on Donna's face tilted the scales.

"He called me last night," CJ acknowledged. "I'm not sure where he is, except he isn't in Washington. If I had to guess, I'd say he went to Boston."

"To see Grant," Donna groaned. She was afraid this would happen, especially after Angela landed and the first day of negotiations went south. "He called last Wednesday. Not long after Josh came back from Senior Staff."

Donna didn't know what had been said, but something during that Staff meeting made Josh more receptive to Grant Mitchell's call.

For her part, CJ had been reconsidering her own options over the past week. She was pissed at herself for not having the guts to tell the President what she really wanted to say. She had meant what she did say, but she knew she should have said more.

She wondered if Josh knew what would happen if he left. He would likely take Donna with him and inadvertently spearhead a mass defection. Ed and Larry would likely go on principle – the two economic advisors were of the opinion Leo and the President should have shown Josh far more support than they had. Legislative Affairs was full of up and coming young staffers stolen from various Congressional staffs by Josh during the first term. They wouldn't stick around to be micro-managed by Leo or whoever he brought in to replace Josh. They'd actually thrown a party after Carrick's defection – it made their jobs a hell of a lot easier to know where the guy would come down on a vote.

"What are you going to do?" CJ asked Donna almost rhetorically.

Donna simply shifted her weight to one hip and gave CJ a look, clearly stating her devotion to Josh, personally and professionally.

The last person Josh expected to see as he strolled aimlessly around the Yard lost in thought was Abigail Bartlet. He ducked his head and limped a little faster to lose himself in a gaggle of prospective students and their families.

"Josh!" Mrs. Bartlet hailed him, dashing his hopes she wouldn't see him.

He stopped and waited for her to catch up with him.

"What brings you to Boston, ma'am?" Josh asked with polite disinterest. He could honestly care less why Abbey Bartlet was in Boston, but until he turned in his resignation, he needed to appear as though he gave a shit.

"Zoey wanted to look at the Radcliffe Institute. She's planning on starting grad school part-time in the spring. What about you?" Something in the way she looked at him told Josh she was keeping herself abreast of the goings-on in Washington.

"I had the weekend off and thought I'd come visit an old classmate of mine." Not exactly the whole truth, but he hadn't lied. Grant Mitchell was a friend and classmate from Yale Law. Just because the meeting was about a job didn't mean it wasn't between old friends.

The look she gave him said she clearly understood what he was doing at Harvard. "I'm heading back over to Radcliffe to meet Zoey for lunch. You can walk me."

"Does my husband know you're here?" she asked.

"No," Josh admitted.

"How many offers have you gotten this week?" Abbey shook her head in disgust when he didn't answer. "Your tolerance for their bullshit is impressive, I'll give you that."

Josh maintained his silence, refusing to give into the First Lady's questioning as he limped across the historic campus.

Abbey Bartlet spent lunch with one eye on Josh. She knew what was going on. She'd seen the news reports about Leo bringing in Angela Blake to handle Josh's legislative portfolio, the speculation about who was being approached to take over the job when he was forced to resign. She'd damn near thrown the remote through the television at the way the pundits had fallen on Josh like a pack of hyenas, accusing him of destroying everything the Bartlet Administration had worked for.

Josh was about the only one of her husband's senior staff she liked – along with CJ. Toby had always rubbed her the wrong way and she doubted she'd ever forgive Leo for encouraging Jed to run for President in the first place, let alone for reelection or the assassination that lead to Zoey's kidnapping.

"When was the last time you saw a doctor?" she asked quietly, finally deciding to comment on the way Josh had been favoring his right side. Zoey was chatting amiably with the campus representatives from Radcliffe at the next table, leaving her free to interrogate Josh on his medical problems without danger of being overheard.

Josh sighed, setting down his fork. "Which one?"

"Any of them."

"I saw Dr. Welch yesterday morning, actually. I'd been putting it off since May and since my schedule is a little more accommodating these days. I decided to get it out of the way."

"Dr. Welch is your cardiologist?" Abbey verified.

"Yeah."

"And?" She was being nosy and she knew it, but she got the feeling something other than Leo had prompted the younger man's trip to Boston.

"My blood pressure is through the roof," Josh shrugged.

"Aren't you on medication for that?" Dr. Bartlet asked.

Her lunch companion snorted bitterly while he picked at his salad. "That, a blood thinner, something for the arrhythmia I've had since the shooting, an anti-depressant. I'm a regular fucking pharmacy."

"And it's still high?"

"I was informed I can expect to have a heart attack or stroke or burst an artery within the next six months if I don't start making some lifestyle changes right now," he admitted, making a face at the salad on his plate.

There wasn't anything she could say. The pressure cooker atmosphere of Washington got everyone in the end and Josh had been there for almost twenty years. Of course, Josh's condition was primarily precipitated by having his pulmonary artery ripped open by hot lead and then rebuilt to be significantly smaller than God had intended it to be. Something that wouldn't have happened if Leo hadn't lured him away from the Hoynes campaign in November of 1997. An act Abigail Bartlet viewed as the watershed moment of the past six years. Without Josh onboard, with Josh as the opposition, there was no way her husband would have placed second in Iowa and South Carolina and first in Arizona – a string of astounding finishes that had vaulted Jed Bartlet into the Presidency.

"Added to last week..." Abbey gave Josh a supportive smile.

"Yeah," he cocked his head in the general direction of the campus. "They've been after me for better than a year. It'll be nice to be some place where I'm wanted."

"Well, I'm not going to try to change your mind. Like I said before, I'm impressed by what you've been willing to put up with. So, what's going on with you and Amy Gardner?" the First Lady tried to change the subject.

"Nothing," he answered with a finality that told her the topic was not open for discussion.

Attempting to rekindle his romance with Amy Gardner might have actually been dumber than pissing off Chris Carrick. He knew what he wanted – he just wasn't allowed to have it. So, he had substituted sex for love and come out the worse for it – again.

Maybe once they got to Boston...

Donna was sitting at Josh's desk, staring out over the South Lawn when his phone rang. She answered out of shock. The instrument hadn't been used since the fateful argument with Senator Carrick.

"Josh Lyman's office."

"Hey."

"Where are you?" Donna demanded, her frustration at the day seeping through.

"At the moment, I'm in Boston. In about fifteen minutes, I'll be on my way to Manchester." Josh knew it would be counter-productive to lie to her. Especially considering some of the things he wanted to say.

"Did you talk to Grant?" she asked with trepidation. While she would follow him to wherever he led, she couldn't help her nervousness.

"Yeah," Josh let out the breath he'd been holding. "I took it."

"You're quitting," Donna stated. The possibility had been looming all week, but the reality was something she thought would never come.

"I saw Dr. Welch yesterday." Josh wanted Donna to know the truth. He was going to let everyone else thing it was because of Carrick, give them the illusion Leo had gone along with the multitude of calls for his scalp. But Donna needed to know the truth.

"Okay." Donna wasn't entirely sure what he was insinuating. Dr. Welch said the same thing every year: less stress, more exercise, better diet. Why would this year be any different?

"He told me I can expect to have a debilitating cardiac event in the next six months if I continue with my present lifestyle."

This year came with a time frame.

"Oh." Donna bit her lip, absentmindedly wrapping the phone cord around her finger.

"Yeah," Josh replied, remaining silent for a minute to allow her to digest his news. "Anyway, I was calling because my new position is authorized a staff of six. One of which is a research assistant and I was wondering if you'd be interested?"

"Huh?" The young woman was still struggling with the news from Josh's cardiologist.

Her boss chuckled. "A job, Donna. I'm offering you a job. With normal hours, better pay and a different set of rules."

The different set of rules was something he was really looking forward to taking advantage of.

Toby cast his eyes around the nearly deserted bar looking for a familiar, but not friendly, face. He'd been summoned to this hole in the wall by a curious page from Senate Majority Leader Rob Royce's chief of staff – a short, unassuming man named Trent Collins.

He wasn't overly upset at being called away Leo's strategy debacle. There hadn't been much strategizing going on. Leo was alternately ranting about Jeff Haffley's unreasonable demands and bitching about Josh's disappearing act.

Collins beckoned him from a back corner booth. Once he was close enough to see in the dim light, Toby was shocked by the identity of Collins' companion. Bruce Thompson was the senior aide to Congressman Joe Tilley, a rank and file Democrat from Texas who was only remarkable because he held a seat on the Ways and Means Committee.

"I'm here," Toby slid into the booth across from the two men.

"We're meeting with you on behalf of certain Congressional interests who are... shall we say disturbed by some current events and troubled by the state of the federal budget for 2004," Collins said, enunciating each word with precision.

The White House Communications Director raised his eyebrows, inviting them to continue.

"There are individuals on both sides of the aisle in the House and the Senate who wield enough influence to get an alternative appropriations bill onto the President's desk. A bill we could all find mutually acceptable," Thompson leaned over the table.

"Go on." Toby was intrigued.

Trent Collins took a deep breath. "Representatives of one House Republican, one House Democrat, one Senate Republican, one Senate Democrat and the White House. We've already got a group of suites at a Holiday Inn in Manassas."

Bruce pulled a folded sheet of paper from his breast pocket and handed it to Toby, who opened it and whistled softly.

"Leo won't go for this." Leo would throw a nutty at the idea of sending Josh to Manassas for secret budget talks.

"Leo doesn't get to know. Neither does Haffley or his minions. You take it to the President. He says yes or no," Trent said.

"What do you guys want in return?" There was no way this offer was completely altruistic.

"I'm going to break this down because you Democrats are slow sometimes," Collins leaned back. "We don't want anything. This is a goodwill gesture on our part. Haffley's an asshole who's swinging a pretty big stick and hitting the wrong people with it. There are people in my party who would rather hand redemption to Josh Lyman than a win to Jeff Haffley. Plus, there are the boys and girls at Fort Hood. You know, the home of the 3rd Infantry? A full third of the promotions Carrick was blocking were for officers who just came home from the Middle East. We've been flooded with letters, emails and phone calls wanting to know why the Senator was allowing military promotions to be used in partisan politics."

Thompson turned from looking at his cohort to meet Toby's eyes. He offered his boss's rationale. "Fort Bliss is in the heart of our district."

"And?"

"Home of the Army's Air Defense Artillery?" Thompson prompted.

Toby started to see the light. "What do you want?"

"They, Toby. They want a different missile defense system. The Pentagon is ready to green-light the development on it and we want it at Bliss. The theoretical work on it is a hell of a lot more reliable than that piece of shit Carrick wanted to dump $250 million into. And there's a feeling among the rank and file on the Hill that Josh is more receptive to our concerns than Leo. There's a lot of grumbling going on and some shake-ups coming. It would behoove the President to be on the right side of the tracks."

"It has to be Josh?" Toby asked, getting out of the booth and staring at the two ideologically opposed staffers. This whole situation was absolutely surreal.

"It has to be Josh," Collins affirmed while Thompson nodded his head.

"When?"

"Monday morning."

Jed Bartlet fiddled with the list Toby had given him back in Washington. He couldn't believe he was considering circumventing his party's leadership and his own Chief of Staff to pass a budget. He trusted Leo's judgment. Didn't he?

'Except,' he thought as the New Hampshire countryside whipped by, 'you think they've handled this thing wrong from the get-go. You think they're making Josh the scapegoat for everything.'

He gave the rental car with Massachusetts plates a second look as he ascended the porch steps. His wife met him in the foyer.

"Who's here?" he asked, handing his coat to one of the household servants.

"Josh," Abbey stated. In her heart of hearts, she was looking forward to her husband's reaction to Josh's resignation. She knew how Jed felt about the younger man and she wondered if it made her cruel to hope the rejection would crush his spirit even more.

"Really?" Jed replied with an eagerness that surprised her.

"He's in the library," she called after Jed's back.

Josh was staring out the window at the darkness while he mentally composed his resignation. He had no idea why he'd jumped so readily at the First Lady's offer to come to Manchester. Maybe so he wouldn't chicken out.

"Josh!"

He whirled around at the sound of his name, startled by the warmth in the President's tone.

"Mr. President," he greeted the man, clasping his hands behind his back and drawing himself up to his full height.

"What brings you to New Hampshire?" Bartlet asked, crossing to the bar and pouring himself a drink. Josh shook his head when Jed raised the scotch bottle at him.

"I needed to talk to you, sir. And when I ran into the First Lady in Boston, she graciously offered to let me come up."

Warning klaxons blared in Jed's head. He sat on the room's sofa and gestured to the wing chair flanking the sofa. "Sit down, Josh. Make yourself comfortable."

"With all due respect, sir, I'll stand."

"What's going on?" the President asked, sipping the harsh alcohol.

He only noticed the envelope in Josh's hand when the younger man walked over and presented it to him.

"I need to tender my resignation, sir. Effective immediately."

"You're quitting?" Bartlet sputtered once he finished choking on the scotch he'd just swallowed.

"It was made abundantly clear to me that some errors are... unforgivable and I am no longer wanted in this Administration, sir," Josh said, stepping back to his place by the window.

"Excuse me?" Jed was honestly confused. He and Leo had agreed Josh needed temporarily lower his profile until things blew over, but they would put him back in the ballgame as soon as the news cycle would allow. It was then he realized he didn't know what Leo had actually said to his deputy.

Josh didn't want to dwell on the why of his decision, so he proceeded to explain the what. "I've accepted a position in the private sector."

"No," Jed shook his head and got to his feet.

"It's not your decision to make, sir," Josh replied simply.

He was comfortable with what he was doing and his resolve was plainly evident. Jed saw it, but ignored it, appealing to Josh's competitive instincts.

"Let me get this straight. You screwed up in spectacularly public fashion, so because Leo asked you to lower your profile, you're going to take your ball and go home? You're going to just quit because you don't get to be the center of the universe anymore?" Bartlet goaded his subordinate.

"I don't deserve that, sir, and you know it. I'm going to accept what I was told – that nobody wants me in the White House – and move on to someplace where I can make a positive impact on things," Josh said in the same even tone he'd maintained since the beginning of the conversation. He had no plans to tell the President about his health problems.

"Who said nobody wants you in the White House?" Jed demanded, getting a firmer grasp on Josh's logic.

"Leo, sir. And since he's already hired my replacement, I find it difficult to not believe him."

That was definitely not what he and his Chief of Staff had discussed. "Leo told you nobody wanted you in the White House? When?"

"Last Wednesday, sir. Before the Senior Staff meeting."

The President fell silent, contemplating the events of the past two weeks. What had CJ told him? She needed him to lead? It was past time for him to reassert control over the West Wing staff.

"He's wrong," Jed stated after studying his advisor's face for a few minutes and making a decision. "I want you there."

He proffered the envelope containing the letter of resignation back to Josh.

"With all due respect, sir. It's not open for negotiation." Josh didn't even look down at the document. His eyes locked on Jed's and something unspoken passed between them.

"There's something else, isn't there?"

"Yes, sir."

"But you won't tell me what it is?"

"Correct, sir. It's personal."

Those words brought home just how far he'd strayed from his staff. Six months ago, Josh would have been honest with him. Now, he wouldn't include Jed in something because it was personal.

"You're using Carrick as an excuse." It wasn't an accusation, just a statement of fact.

"Sometimes the knife cuts both ways, sir. I was his; he's mine. We all have to deal with the aftermath of situations we didn't create."

"Fair enough," Jed agreed, reading into the statement everything Josh meant, but was too much of a gentleman to say. He had stuck in there after getting shot, after suffering a humiliating mental breakdown, after the MS announcement, the hearings, the censure, the subpoenas, reelection, all of it.

"Thank you, sir." Josh nodded and started to leave the room.

"Josh?" the President called.

"Yes, sir?"

"Will you do one thing for me?"

"Sir?"

Donna stood nervously before Josh's apartment door on Sunday night. Josh had asked her to come over, but she carried an almost laughable ultimatum from Leo.

'Get your ass back to work on Monday or don't come back at all.'

"Hey," Josh opened the door and greeted her with a shy smile.

"Hi," she grinned back, sensing the uncertainty and regret had evaporated with Josh's decision.

"I just got back," he explained when she almost tripped over his bag just inside the door.

"And?" No point in beating around the bush. He'd called earlier in the day and said he'd talked to President Bartlet.

"I'm leaving for Manassas as soon as I repack. On the President's orders," Josh said. They sat next to one another on the sofa.

"Manassas? Virginia?" Donna questioned. She had planned to spend tonight and tomorrow packing his office and her desk area.

"I agreed to a notice period," Josh told her, unconsciously scooting closer to her.

He'd done a significant amount of thinking about Donna on his trip. He was not, he knew, in love with Amy Gardner. They had fabulous sex, but when they opened their mouths the relationship went to hell. He lusted after Amy's body and her skill in bed, but the attraction he felt for Donna was different on a fundamental level. He craved her presence, the sound of her voice, the smell of her perfume – the mere thought of her not accompanying him to Boston would have been enough for him to turn it down. While apartment hunting in Cambridge, he had decided to finally broach the subject with her.

"How long?"

"Long enough to hammer out a budget for fiscal year 2004."

"Now I'm confused. Didn't Leo..."

"Trent Collins met with Toby yesterday," Josh interrupted. He proceeded to explain the plan to her, delighting in the way her eyes lit up at his chance.

Donna sat stunned when he finished. "What about what Dr. Welch said?"

"I know. I just... I need to do this."

"I understand." Donna reached out to stroke his cheek and she did understand. Josh needed to leave the White House on top, not like a whipped dog scurrying away with his tail between his legs.

His acceptance of her simple, intimate gesture spoke volumes to her. Her feelings for Josh had been riding close to the surface after recent events. First, there was the snowball incident the night of the Inauguration. Then, there was conversation with Amy the night of Zoey's disappearance. She thought she'd buried those feelings when Josh returned to Amy's bed. But the lack of passion between them at work led her to believe there was nothing more there than two adults meeting each other's physical needs. She couldn't take it personally because she knew, as his assistant in the White House, she was off-limits in such a capacity.

Josh's hand captured hers and before she knew it their lips were touching, his tongue was in her mouth and she was moaning in pleasure.

"There's something else I wanted to talk to you about," Josh whispered with a self-satisfied grin.

"The different rules?" she guessed, returning his smirk.

"The different rules," he confirmed, leaning in to kiss her again.

It felt good to do real work again, Josh decided. Even if it meant spending 10 days sequestered in a hotel suite with the same group of twelve people arguing over entitlement programs and tax cuts. Not that everything was joy and happiness. He studiously ignored the continued pain in his back and leg. When his prescriptions ran out, he neglected to get them refilled because he didn't have time – he was working on something important. Something that mattered.

Every night, or early morning, he called Donna. They allowed themselves thirty minutes of personal time and then got down to work. He would ask her questions to verify he was remembering the budget details correctly and she vented about the lack of progress being made in Washington. Angela was remembering every reason she'd ever had for leaving the public sector and had quickly realized she would get nowhere with Speaker Haffley. The word Donna kept using for all of them was 'pigheaded' – nobody was willing to compromise on anything.

To top it off, things were so bad with Leo even the mention of Josh's name could provoke a tirade about professional ineptitude. It was a reaction that didn't surprised Josh. Some of the things Leo had said in the wake of Carrick's party two-step were getting back to him. None of them were flattering and all of them had Josh reaching for the knife in his back.

He was amazed at how refreshing it was to work with people who had a common goal. His counterparts were skilled, knowledgeable and willing to deal honestly. They watched as a group over breakfast, groaning in disbelief and disgust, as the impasse shut down the federal government. Josh thought CJ looked even more disheartened than she had before he left for Boston when she stood up in the Press Room and tried to spin the debacle.

They were hanging around the suite, waiting for the final summary of the alternative appropriations bill to print out when Perry Miller sat down next to Josh.

Miller was an economic advisor on Senator Royce's staff. A recent graduate of the Wharton School of Business, he'd only been with the Senator for a few months. He had been shocked to be included in such touchy negotiations. Despite all the rumors about Bartlet's personal attack dog, he'd found Josh Lyman to be professional and surprisingly likeable.

"Are you feeling okay?" the young aide asked, concerned by the other man's lack of color and the perspiration on his brow even in the air conditioned hotel room.

"Yeah," Josh lied. He'd been having trouble sleeping the past few days and was experiencing periods of dizziness and pain in his chest. He knew he needed to see his doctor or at the bare minimum get his medications refilled.

Perry was still intimidated by the White House Deputy Chief of Staff and when Bruce Thompson returned to the room with copies of the summary report he let it go.

"Are we all good with this, then?" Anna Fitzgibbons, an aide to the House Republican, asked the room at large.

There was a generally nodding of heads, murmured yes's, and scraping of chairs on the floor as people stood to fax, email or phone in the completion of the FY2004 budget to their bosses for final approval.

The phone call from Josh was put straight through to President Bartlet. Neither Charlie nor Debbie knew what was going on, but they had been told to route the call in, no questions asked, and to bring in the fax as soon as possible.

Josh confirmed the budget was on its way to the printer and would be introduced to the Ways and Means Committee by 8 o'clock in the evening. Jed hung up the phone and headed to Leo's adjoining office for a confrontation he wasn't relishing. His Chief of Staff was discussing the latest demands from Haffley with Angela and Donna.

"How's it going in there?" Jed asked.

"They want the college tuition tax breaks on the table," Angela answered wearily. "Or they'll up the capital gains tax cut."

"Well, how about we give them half of the cut they want and we get 75% deductibility on college tuition?" Bartlet suggested.

"I think we'd happily settle for that," Angela nodded, sharing a look with Leo.

"Good, because that's what we got." The President set the summary report on Leo's desk. "This will pass tonight. I'll sign it first thing in the morning and the United States government will resume function. Angela, you did excellent work under the circumstances, but this situation required someone more familiar with the current personalities in Congress. Someone they trusted to deal with them in a straightforward fashion and vice versa." Jed knew Angela would be Leo's choice to replace Josh and he saw no need to denigrate her efforts.

"What is this?" Leo was well aware his mouth was hanging open. What he was looking at wasn't everything they wanted, but it was better than he could have dreamed of after the past ten days.

"Royce sent an envoy to Toby two weeks ago, stating he had had enough of what he called Speaker Haffley's heavy-handed tactics. He had consulted with several other Senators and Representatives and determined he had enough votes – enough bipartisan support – to form a separate working group to write an alternative appropriations bill," Jed explained. "We sent 13 people to an undisclosed location, out of town to hammer it out. You're looking at the result."

"Does Haffley know about this?" Leo's fury at being cut out of the loop was palpable.

"I'm pretty sure he's finding out right now."

"Who represented us?" Angela asked the question Leo wouldn't while pursuing the report he handed her.

"They asked for Josh," Jed admitted.

"Josh," Leo repeated stonily.

"Yes, Leo. They requested Josh. And I made the decision to send him and not tell you. If you have a problem with it, I suggest you get over it."

"Can you two excuse us?" Leo raised his eyebrows at the two women who were visibly uncomfortable at what was about to occur. Angela and Donna needed no encouragement to flee scene of the impending explosion.

"We agreed to take the legislative portfolio away from Josh as punishment for the Carrick situation, Mr. President. In fact, I promised the Democratic leadership he would get nowhere near the Hill until hell froze over. It was the only way to keep their support. I cannot control him if you let him get away with going over my head every time he thinks I've been mean to him," Leo spat, getting to his feet.

"He didn't whine about being left out and you don't have to worry about controlling him anymore. Josh has already tendered his resignation. In fact, I had to beg him to stay long enough to do this one thing for me because the people who approached us refused to work with you. You lost him, Leo. Just like he lost Carrick. You overplayed your hand," Jed snarled.

The two men glowered at each other until Jed saw every ounce of fight drained from Leo's eyes as the reality of what he'd said set in.

"Josh resigned?" Leo asked weakly, sinking back into his chair.

"And God only knows who he'll take with him."

Angela followed Donna back to the Operations bullpen and into Josh's office. The door had remained closed since Josh called her from Boston and the older woman was shocked to see the stacks of boxes.

"You knew about this?" she asked. They couldn't help overhearing everything the President and Leo had shouted.

Donna nodded and continued packing.

"Josh quit?" Angela had known Josh for a lot of years – since Leo's days as Secretary of Labor – and she never figured him as someone who would just up and quit.

"He's taking a position at Harvard," Donna said, stopping to look around the office. "Part of me is really going to miss this place and part of me isn't."

Angela looked moderately surprised. She hadn't been able to pin down the dynamic between Josh and the bright young assistant until now.

"You're going with him?"

"It's complicated," Donna blushed.

"I'm sure it is."

With those words the other woman slipped out of the office. Donna continued packing, not stopping to think about what each little memento meant for fear she'd break into tears. This was the first place she ever felt like she was making a difference and while she knew it would eventually come to an end, she always assumed it would be at the end of President Bartlet's second term, not a year into it and not under these circumstances. She knew Josh was making the right choice, for the right reasons. She certainly didn't want to see him carted out of the White House after having a fatal heart attack or an incapacitating stroke. Nothing they would accomplish in the next three years was worth his life.

Toby stopped by next, standing in the doorway looking morose. "What happened?"

He seemed confused by the entire situation. He knew things were tenuous between Josh and Leo, but he hadn't realized they were this bad. He thought Josh being out of sight for a couple of weeks would smooth things over. Leo would have time to remember how much they needed Josh around and the commotion surrounding Carrick's defection would die down. Josh could return, quietly, with a completed budget and they could get back to the business of building a legacy.

"He resigned. What else is there to say?" Donna stopped putting books in boxes and leaned against the desk.

"Since when does Josh quit?" Toby demanded loudly. "We don't quit around here!"

"You need to ask Josh that question," Donna replied in an even tone. He had specifically requested she not talk to anyone about his health problems.

Toby sighed. He just didn't get it, even in the depths of the MS scandal Josh never gave up fighting.

"What's he going to do?" he asked, his voice gentler this time.

"Senior Policy Director of the Business and Government Center at Harvard. We were supposed to start on November 1st, but now it looks like they're going to push it back until semester starts in January to give us time to move and get settled in." Josh had worked that out when she'd complained about the rapidly shrinking time frame in which they had to move themselves to Boston.

"I'm supposed to go in there, announce we have a budget and refer all questions to the Senator Rob Royce?" CJ appeared over Toby's shoulder.

Leo had called her into his office, given her the line and asked her to leave. Asked, not ordered or demanded – which was an impressive improvement over recent history. It didn't alleviate her confusion, however, so she'd gone looking for Toby to explain what was going on.

"You could throw in there that the Deputy Chief of Staff resigned, but you'd have to ask the President when his last day is," Toby groused.

"He took it?" CJ addressed her question to Donna.

"You knew about this?" Toby thundered.

"I knew he went to Boston to talk to the guy, but obviously, I didn't know what he'd decided. I tried to talk him out of even going twice, Toby. What the hell more do you want from me?" CJ yelled back. She was still too close to quitting herself.

"Guys! Stop it!" Donna implored as the two began arguing about who should have done what to make sure Josh didn't quit. "There's nothing you could have done!"

The argument ceased less from Donna's shouting than from President Bartlet's appearance. He looked as ghostly pale and disconnected as he had the night of Zoey's abduction.

"I just got a call from Senator Royce's office. Josh..." he paused and took a deep breath before continuing. "Josh collapsed in the parking lot of the hotel in Manassas. They think he had a heart attack."

Jed instinctively looked at Donna, gauging her reaction. The young woman didn't seem shocked at the news, more anxious than anything.

"Is he okay?" Toby asked, reaching out to support CJ seemed to sway on her feet in shock.

President looked back at the two senior advisors. "I don't know. He's being brought to D.C. by air ambulance. One of Royce's aides found him. He'll call the minute they're on the ground. Donna, is there any information Charlie needs to give him?"

It was a fluke Perry had still been around. He was halfway out of town before he realized he'd forgotten his PDA in the conference room. He was just getting out of his car when Josh keeled over. After calling 911 to summon help, he'd called Trent to for instructions. The Senator's senior aide told him to stick with Lyman until someone from the White House relieved him. He also gave Perry a number to call when they arrived in Washington.

He dialed the number as soon as the air ambulance landed.

"Office of the President."

Perry wasn't sure what he'd expected, but this wasn't it.

"My... my name is Perry Miller. I was told to call this number. I'm with Josh Lyman," he stuttered, unsure if the person on the other end of the phone even knew what he was talking about.

"Mr. Miller, can you tell me where you are?"

"George Washington University Hospital," he answered. He was trying to keep up as they hustled Josh's unconscious body through the maze of corridors.

"Okay, Mr. Miller. A couple people are going to join you momentarily. One of them holds Josh's medical power of attorney. If any decisions need to be made, this person can make them. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Charlie spoke firmly.

"I... I think so."

"Josh's cardiologist is named Terrance Welch. He's on GW's staff. Do you have something to write with?" The President's personal aide waited and then rattled off the list of drugs Donna had given him. "Those are what he's supposed to take every day, but Donna thinks he might have run out last week."

Perry was grateful to spot a counter. He stopped and tried to make his hastily scrawled notes more legible. A harried resident came up to him and waited with impatience.

"Donna's a tall blonde. She'll be looking for you," Charlie continued.

"Okay. There's a doctor here who wants to talk..."

"Go," Charlie ordered, disconnecting the line.

Senator Royce's advisor thrust the scrap of paper at the doctor, who read it quickly and then returned to the triage room, leaving Perry standing in his wake like an inconsequential peon.

One of the orderlies was directing him to a crowded waiting room when a blonde, wind-whipped woman rushed up to the desk breathlessly.

"I'm looking for Josh Lyman. He was brought in..."

"You are?" the desk clerk interrupted.

"Donna Moss."

Perry heard the name 'Donna' and backtracked to the counter.

"Are you his next of kin?"

"I hold his medical power of attorney." She was calmer than Perry thought was possible.

"They're still evaluating him. You're going to have to wait over there," the man pointed to the waiting area. "A doctor will be with you as soon as they know anything."

Donna acknowledge Perry's existence and thanked him for helping Josh, but once they reached the waiting room, she pulled out a cell phone and started making calls, leaving Perry even more unsure of what to do.

It seemed like they waited forever before a balding black man in a lab coat approached, heading straight for Donna. He sat down next to her and shook his head. Perry got the impression the two knew each other.

"There's good news and bad news," Dr. Welch sighed. "The good news is he did not have a heart attack."

"Thank God," the young woman breathed. One of the things she liked best about Dr. Welch his straight to the point manner. The fact he explained things in non-medical jargon was an added bonus.

"The bad news is he's been off his meds for at least a week. The arrhythmia is back as bad as it was after the shooting and he's suffering heart palpitations. If he's lucky, being off the blood thinner didn't do any damage to the arterial repair, but it's going to take a few tests to make sure. He's also dehydrated and his blood pressure is through the roof again. That's probably why he collapsed. They're moving him up to the coronary intensive care unit right now. You remember where it is?"

Perry was surprised when Donna nodded and got to her feet.

"He's in and out. They gave him some pretty hefty drugs when they thought he was suffering a heart attack," Dr. Welch warned. "Don't worry if he's not coherent."

Once the doctor had left them, Donna smiled at Perry for the first time.

"Thank you. For everything. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't been there."

"I... It was a fluke. I forgot my PDA and went back to get it. I should probably get back to the office." Perry didn't feel particularly worthy of her praise and the whole situation made him nervous.

"If there's anything we can ever do for you," Donna offered, leaning in and giving the young man a peck on the cheek. She waited until he was out of sight and then headed for the elevators.

Josh was unconscious when she reached his bedside. The only sign of life was an erratic beeping from the heart monitor.

"Josh?" she called quietly, reaching out to stroke his forehead.

He opened bleary eyes and a ghost of his normal smile materialized under the oxygen mask when he saw it was Donna whispering his name.

"What did Toby tell you about taking your meds?" She rebuked him softly, tears of relief forming in her eyes.

He fumbled for her hand and squeezed it feebly.

"You're going to be fine," Donna assured him, using her free hand to smooth his flyaway curls.

She sat quietly talking about nothing until he drifted back into oblivion.

President Bartlet stared at the door to his Chief of Staff's office. No one had told Leo about Josh's collapse yet. He wasn't relishing the job because for the first time he couldn't anticipate his friend's reaction. Over the past month, he'd watched Leo and Josh's relationship become increasingly strained, watched as Leo attempted to shore up their sagging numbers with compromise after compromise and Josh tried to do the same with shows of strength and hubris. CJ's words kept coming back to him: _I need you to lead_. She was right. They all needed him to lead. He'd left a leadership vacuum in a building filled with alpha males. It should have come as no surprise the staff, especially Leo and Josh, was ripping one another to shreds.

Well, it stopped now. He would talk to Leo and then he would talk sense into Josh. He needed both of them behind him and they needed each other, whether they were willing to admit it or not.

He straightened his shoulders and pushed the door open.

Leo was staring out his window at the setting sun, still unable to process Josh quitting. For all the younger man drove him up a wall with the havoc he wrecked in the political arena, he was an indispensable cog in the wheel of the Bartlet Administration. He'd meant what he said the morning after Carrick's defection. They couldn't do it without Josh.

"You alright?" Jed asked to get the other man's attention. He unbuttoned his jacket and sat down heavily.

"He really quit?"

"He said you told him nobody wanted him here?" It was a request for Leo's side of the story.

"I was pissed. He kept trying to... I don't know... It felt like he was grasping at straws to mitigate the damage... I was trying to get him to understand we couldn't wave a magic wand and fix this... I'd spent the entire night on the phone with the Leadership hearing about what a huge travesty this was and how they wanted his resignation... Yes, none of them want him here!" he finally exploded.

Leo leaned his head back and stared at the ceiling before continuing. "Things just spiraled out of control. He was against you stepping aside. He thought we needed to be polling while Zoey was missing. He kept hammering on that Walken's people were going to select a vice president and start legislating again. He couldn't get Berryhill confirmed by the House... It's one thing after another with him, we can never get ahead because he's always pissing off the people we need to get there!"

The sun finished its descent before either of them spoke again.

"Josh collapsed as he was leaving to come back to DC. It wasn't a heart attack," Jed said quickly when Leo paled. "His blood pressure was way up and his heart rhythm was out of whack. Donna's with him and talked to the cardiologist. Evidently, Josh ran out of his medication while he was in Manassas. They're running some more tests to determine how to treat him."

"I should go over there," Leo started to get to his feet with the intention of going to the hospital.

"What are you going to do? Sit in the hospital waiting room and brood in public? There isn't anything you can do. Josh isn't awake and they aren't allowing visitors until the tests are finished and the results come back. There's nothing you can do." Jed didn't want to tell him the truth – that Donna had asked him to keep Leo away until Josh was aware enough to decide about seeing the man for himself. He wasn't sure he agreed with the request, but since Josh was the one in the coronary intensive care unit, he'd abide by Josh's wishes.

"The least I can do is check in with Donna." Leo had his suit jacket on and was reaching for his coat when Jed stayed his hand.

"What you're going to do is stay here and figure out what to do about the Secretary of Defense and his interviews," Jed ordered. "CJ has Bonnie and Ginger taking care of Donna."

There was no dissuading Leo from accompanying Jed when he went to GW after visiting hours were over. Through the window, they could see the back of Donna's head and the mass of wires and tubes snaking from the motionless figure in the bed. Charlie rapped twice on the glass to get Donna's attention. She glanced over her shoulder and then leaned close to Josh's head before getting up and coming into the hallway.

"Hi," she greeted them quietly, tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.

Even after five years and countless interactions, Leo and the President made her feel inadequate with their very presence – as though they knew she didn't belong in their league and only tolerated her to pacify Josh.

"How is he?" President Bartlet asked.

Donna crossed her arms and leaned back against the door with a sigh. Granted, Josh hadn't had a heart attack, but his condition was still serious and life-threatening.

"He asleep more than he's awake. They did an external cardioversion in the ER to shock his heart back to normal, but it didn't hold. Dr. Welch did some tests this afternoon and wants to put in something called an ICD, an implantable cardioverter defibrillator. He said it's kind of like a pacemaker. It detects an abnormal heart beat and automatically shocks the heart back into rhythm," she explained.

Jed shook his head. Josh's mysterious personal reasons for resigning became clearer. "Can I see him?"

"Don't expect to have a conversation with him," Donna warned with the hint of a smile. "He was reciting the stats of the '69 Mets the last time he was awake."

"Josh was what? 5 in 1969?" Jed snorted in amusement.

"Something like that." Donna pushed away from the door and let the President enter alone.

"How long will he be in here?" Leo continued questioning the young assistant.

"Two or three more days because of his medical history." Donna's answers were sharper without the President's presence. "Full recovery takes about four to six weeks."

It had taken a great deal of self-control on her part to not lash out at the Chief of Staff during his recent attacks on Josh during meetings and in her exhaustion her temper was slipping. Leo sensed her hostility, but chalked it up to the emotional day.

"Josh is a fighter. He'll be fine," Leo said in an attempt to reassure the young woman.

His condescending tone caused her to snap.

"Don't try to placate me, you self-righteous, holier-than-thou son of a bitch! This is your fault!" Donna reached out and slapped him across the face before she could stop herself.

Josh saw the confrontation over the President's shoulder through heavy-lidded eyes. His temper flared at Donna's obvious distress and increased the beeping of the heart monitor, catching Jed's attention. The President followed Josh's eyes in time to see Donna stalking off, leaving Leo standing in her wake with his hand pressed to his cheek in disbelief. Jed returned his attention to Josh, he'd ask Leo about it later.

"Take it easy, son," he said, trying to calm Josh down.

His advisor looked horrible. Jed had no idea how he'd failed to notice the dark circles and pale, drawn features when they'd spoken in Manchester.

"How are you feeling?"

Josh tried to shrug, but between the continued stiffness in his right side, the dull ache in his left arm from the catheters used for the battery of tests done during the day and the tightness in his chest, he couldn't manage to move.

"Tired." He mouthed, making barely any sound and forcing President Bartlet to lean in closer to hear him. "Hurts to breathe."

"Serves you right. You scared the hell out of us." Jed made sure keep his voice light.

"Sleep now?" Josh mumbled questioningly. His eyes were drifting shut of their own accord.

Jed nodded his permission. "Yeah, go to sleep now."

He sat and watched Josh's chest rise and fall under the thin hospital blanket until Charlie knocked on the glass to get his attention.

"He's asleep," Jed told the other two men, slipping out of the door.

"We need to go, sir," Charlie pointed out. "They need to start getting patients settled for the night."

Leo opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it and trailed the President down the hall. He caught a glimpse of Donna in the waiting room. The sight of her pale, tear-streaked face reflected in the window made him feel like an absolute asshole. Despite his recent anger at Josh, he loved the man as the son he'd never had. It cut deeply to know Donna, who loved Josh as much as he did, blamed him for it.

He was subdued the entire trip back to the White House and headed immediately for his office when the limo pulled to a stop. He passed Toby and CJ, both of whom looked away as he strode past. Did they blame him as well?

"What happened between you and Donna?" Jed was curious and concerned, so he had followed his friend to his office.

"Nothing," Leo replied flatly.

"Really? Because I think your nothing left a mark."

Leo sighed, touching his sore jaw. "I told Donna Josh was a fighter and he'd be alright."

"She took exception to that?"

"It might have been the way I said it. I'm sure in her mind, I deserved it," Leo acknowledged as he stuffed files into his briefcase. He wasn't going to get any work done in the office, Jed would either relentlessly pursue what had transpired at the hospital or he would settle into lecture mode, something Leo had no patience for tonight.

Jed pursed his lips. There was more to it than Leo was admitting. Donna had said something as well, but he decided to let it go.

"Good night, Mr. President." Leo started toward the door.

"We'll get you over there to see him tomorrow," Jed assured his retreating back.

The drive to the Watergate was brief. He thanked the doorman and crossed the lobby to the elevators. The soft sound of piano music wafted from the lounge and he slowed, glancing at the dark confines with longing. Too many people knew about his alcohol problem for him to drink in public, making the decision to keep moving easier. Drinking in private was another matter, however. He slipped the floor waiter some cash and instructed him to bring up a bottle of 20-year-old, single-malt scotch.

The waiter returned with a fifth of Hennessy. Leo didn't bother pointing out the difference between cognac and scotch, he just thanked the kid and closed the door. Setting the bottle of liquor on the end table next to his chair, he slumped down and stared at it.

Memories of the last time he'd fall off the wagon danced around his brain the same way the dim light of the room danced through the amber liquid. Josh had found him that night. He remembered how he'd woken the next morning to find only a steaming pot of coffee and how Josh had never mentioned his indiscretion. He'd simply thrown himself deeper into his work. It was what Josh did when his personal feelings threatened to overwhelm him – he buried himself in work.

It was an ability to focus and shut out personal pain Leo coveted right now. His personal feelings were making quite the mess of his professional life at the moment. He poured himself a snifter of cognac and swirled it, arguing with himself about whether the fiery alcohol would burn away the pain he was feeling.

There hadn't been any argument about the ICD. Josh trusted Dr. Welch's opinion and was aware enough to sign the consent forms. The procedure took a couple of hours, giving Donna time to go home, shower and change.

When they brought Josh back to his room and hooked up the EKG again, it sounded like a high pitched metronome and was music to Donna's ears. It picked up a bit of speed when Josh floated back to consciousness.

"Oh God," he groaned. He hadn't hurt this much since the shooting.

"There's one of those self-medicating things." Donna folded his fingers around the button, which he immediately pushed.

When Josh's eyes took on a less-pained cast, she broached the subject of visitors. There was quite a list of people, but she didn't want to allow anyone in who would agitate him. Unfortunately, it meant bringing up Leo. The mere mention of his name elevated Josh's pulse.

"No," he rasped, his vocal cords still raw from the ventilator he'd been on during surgery.

"He's worried about you." Donna had promised the President she would argue Leo's case when she'd called to update him while Josh was in surgery.

"No. No. No!" Josh insisted, the heart monitor beginning to beep faster as he became increasingly upset.

"Okay. Okay," she ceded to calm him down. When he was stronger, they could talk about it again.

CJ came by first, offering to spell Donna so she could get something to eat. The Press Secretary had some thing she wanted to talk to Josh about privately anyway.

"Are you feeling better?" CJ asked once Donna had gathered her coat and left the room. He certainly looked better, she thought.

"A little bit," Josh replied. "It still hurts to breathe, though."

She couldn't resist the urge to tease him. "You had your chest cracked open again this morning, I'd think it would hurt."

Josh pulled the blanket and his hospital gown down to show her the small area near his collarbone where the incision had been made. "It's not as big as you'd think it'd be."

"Are you really quitting?" she blurted, swerving off the topic of his new implant.

He nodded. "For a lot of reasons. The Party doesn't want me around. Leo doesn't want me around. My job's been posted on the internet, CJ." He gave her a small smile to break the aura of sadness surrounding them. "I can't get a good table at a restaurant anymore."

"Toby thinks you're throwing a temper tantrum." The two had talked about it at great lengths and Toby felt Josh was leaving because Leo hurt his feelings.

"Toby can think whatever he wants to," Josh replied, concentrating on his breathing in an effort to calm the anxiety attack he felt looming.

It was plain to see the present conversation was troublesome to her friend, but CJ needed some answers. Rumors of Josh's pending resignation, or his summary termination by Leo, were being whispered in the Press Room and she had no desire to be unprepared.

"What do you want me to say if I get the question?" she sighed.

"The President is coming over tonight," Josh paused. He was having trouble stringing two sentences together. "You'll have an answer soon."

"When are they going to spring you loose?" CJ let the subject of his resignation go, knowing he'd told her everything he was willing to.

"Tomorrow, hopefully," he answered with a yawn. His exhaustion, in combination with the drugs, was taking its toll on his ability to keep his eyes open.

Through sheer force of will, Josh was able to visit with everyone who came to see him, although he'd rather have slept through Toby's terse appearance. Donna allowed people no more than ten minutes each with short rests for him in between. She also insisted he take a nap after dinner.

It was through her meticulous planning Josh was awake and sitting up when President Bartlet arrived an hour after visiting hours officially ended. Donna excused herself, allowing the two men to sort out what was going on.

After a few minutes of chit chat, Jed removed an envelope from his breast pocket and laid it on the tray in front of Josh, who recognized it as his letter of resignation.

"Let's talk about that," the President said, nodding at the offending article.

"I haven't changed my mind, sir," Josh met Bartlet's gaze. "If anything, I'm more adamant."

"You aren't leaving because of what Leo said. Are you?" It was a statement of fact.

"It did play into my decision, but it isn't the mitigating factor, no sir."

"I think I deserve the truth," Jed raised his eyebrows. Abbey had called that morning to check on Josh and grudgingly filled her husband in on what she knew.

Josh responded by resting his head against the pillows and sighing.

"You knew something like this was going to happen, didn't you?" Bartlet pressed. "That's why Donna wasn't surprised when I told her."

"The day before I went to Boston for the Harvard interview, I had an appointment with Dr. Welch, my cardiologist," Josh began, explaining everything: how long they'd been after him, his reasons for taking the job and Donna.

"Why not just say so?" Jed asked when Josh finished.

"It's nobody's business, sir."

"I don't believe that, but if you don't want people to know the truth, it's your decision. Can I presume you don't want to come back at all?" There was no counter-argument for Josh's health problems.

"Donna said she has all our stuff packed," Josh answered with a nod.

"You've got something like eight weeks of vacation time on the books. Have you taken a vacation in the last five years, by the way?" Debbie had done some personnel research for him and come up with a plan. Josh shook his head at the President's question. "Donna has just as much. We can make your last official day with the Administration December 31st."

What Jed liked best about Debbie's plan was it gave Josh and Donna twelve weeks to reconsider leaving. "CJ is going to tell the press you are taking some much needed vacation time to recover from your heart attack."

"I didn't actually have a heart attack, sir," Josh protested.

"Yeah but it sounds better than you stopped taking your medications and collapsed in the parking lot of a Holiday Inn," Bartlet joked.

Josh nodded. It was a fair solution. "Thank you, sir."

"You're going home tomorrow?"

"Yes, sir."

"You'll come see me before you take off for Boston, right?" Jed held out his hand.

Josh shook the President's hand, but made no promises. "It's been an honor serving you, sir."

"Thank you for everything, Josh. We wouldn't be here without you and I'm not sure what we're going to do without you." Bartlet found he truly meant it, he didn't know how they were going to make it through the rest of the term without their trenchant Deputy Chief of Staff.

"I appreciate the sentiment, but I think you'll find you can manage."

Josh was feeling the strain by the time he reached the front door of his apartment. After the shooting, Sam had been around to help him in the early stages of his recovery. Donna tried, but she wasn't physically strong enough to support his weight going up the stairs.

Donna took his coat and hovered until he settled himself on the sofa, then covered him with a quilt. She stood looking down at him her eyes moist at the thought of having nearly lost him again. Josh saw the emotion creeping across her face and lifted the edge of the quilt.

"Come here," he whispered, wanting to hold and comfort her.

"What about..." Donna gestured to the recent incision.

He didn't have to ask again, she saw the look in his eyes, the one that said he needed to hold her as much as she needed to be held. She crawled onto the edge of the sofa, curling up against Josh's right side, her hand protectively on his upper chest. Once she was safe in his arms, she could no longer control herself. The tears came with no warning, soaking Josh's t-shirt. He let her sob until she could cry no more, all the while stroking her hair and whispering words of support.

"Better?" he asked when she was done, brushing the remaining tears away with his thumb and gently kissing her cheekbones.

She replied wordlessly by snuggling closer to him and drifting off to sleep.

Josh was amazed at how right this felt. He would never have dreamed of holding Amy or Mandy like this anymore than they would have allowed themselves to show him their vulnerability. It gave him an indescribable feeling of contentment to love someone this much who loved him back equally.

Donna eased herself out of Josh's arms to answer the knock at the door. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, she glanced through the peephole and saw Toby's unhappy face.

"He's asleep," she said, opening the door without unhooking the security chain. Toby's visit the day before at the hospital had left Josh upset and agitated – something she didn't want a repeat of on his first day home.

"I came to..." Toby began then stopped. He wasn't sure why he'd come. The President had told CJ and him to get used to the idea of Josh not being around as it was going to be a permanent thing. He didn't know if he was here to try and reason with his friend in an effort to convince him to come back or if he was here to try and make sense of the last five months. He did know Leo had asked him to report back, as the Chief of Staff continued to be denied visiting privileges.

"He's asleep," Donna repeated, making no move to let Toby in.

The man sighed in frustration, running his hand over his head. "Please, Donna? I just... I want to understand what's going on."

With a sigh of her own, Donna unlatched the door and let Toby in.

"Wake up," Donna crossed back to the sofa and shook Josh's shoulder carefully.

He moaned in a bit of pain, but opened his eyes.

"Toby's here," she said, looking back over her shoulder at the man.

Josh sat up, keeping the quilt wrapped around his shoulders. "What's up?"

"I'm trying to figure this all out," Toby admitted.

"What's there to figure out? I quit."

"Why?"

"Because it was the best thing for the Administration and for me." Josh's eyes tracked Toby as he paced the living room.

"But it's not the best thing for the Administration, Josh," Toby raised his voice, despite his best intentions. "What's best for the Administration is for us to get our shit together and start working on the things we promised the American people we would do when they re-elected us! And to do that, we can't have people bailing out of the ship every time their feelings get hurt!"

"You don't get it. I thought maybe you of all people would understand sometimes you have to put yourself first, but maybe not," Josh's tone registered as much disappointment as Toby's.

"This is what you do. It's who you are! The pinnacle of everything you worked for your entire life and you're just going to walk away?"

"No, it's not," Josh shook his head. "There are other things I want to do in my life and after the past few weeks, I've decided it's time to do them."

"What is more important than this?" Toby nearly screeched.

"Living," Josh answered with a shy glance at Donna. "Having a chance to see what we worked for become reality."

"We're not done, yet."

"I am."

Toby glared at Josh and then at Donna who was standing behind the sofa with her hand resting on Josh's shoulder.

"I hope you're happy," Toby nearly spat as he turned away from them and left the apartment. He couldn't see the sadness in Josh's very soul. He couldn't fathom how hard the decision to leave had been, despite the alternative choice. All Toby could see was the foundation of the Bartlet Administration crumbling around him.

"You should tell him the truth." Donna came around and sat down next to Josh on the sofa.

"I shouldn't have to," Josh countered, resting his head on her shoulder. "Why can't he just accept this is what I have to do? Does he not get how hard this was? Congratulations, Josh, you've got a choice: stay in this job you love and count on keeling over dead within six months or quit and live! What was I supposed to do?"

"It's okay. You made the right decision," Donna assured him. She pulled his head down into her lap and ran her fingers through his coarse, curly hair until he nodded off again.

She understood why he was leaving the White House, but what she didn't get was why he refused to tell people the real reason. He was offering himself up like some sort of sacrificial lamb on the altar of Leo McGarry and it pissed her off. Josh wasn't being fired because he pissed off the Democratic Party leadership and most of Congress – he was quitting because he had lingering health problems from being shot in an assassination attempt.

The more she thought about it, the more she came to see it through Josh's eyes. And while she still didn't like what he was doing, she knew it made sense in his brain. In the first scenario, Leo maintained his standing in the Democratic Party and all the problems of the past several months could be laid at Josh's feet. Hindsight was 20-20, however, and history would bear out the truth. In a few years, Josh could return from exile and lead the Party of the future. In the second scenario, Josh suffered a major stroke during a staff meeting and spent the rest of his life in a vegetative state in some rehabilitation center somewhere.

"Well?" Leo demanded the instant the door closed.

"He's quitting," Toby replied simply. He continued when Leo scowled. "The President couldn't get him to change his mind, Leo. What did you expect from me?"

"Since he refuses to see me, I expected you to point out how childish he's behaving. I thought we agreed on this." Toby's news had Leo thinking longingly of the bottle of cognac in his apartment.

"We agree this Administration will sink like a stone without Josh. I think I can safely say that is about all we agree on." Toby was no happier with Leo's recent dictatorial management style than any of his co-workers.

"You think this is my fault?" Leo challenged.

"I think Will taking the Vice-President's offer and Josh quitting is the tip of the iceberg if things don't change course around here. Will didn't have much of a following, but Josh... Josh is an icon. A governmental, populist institution! There's a woman named Myra over at Justice – she's a pool secretary. She knows you told Josh he wasn't wanted here! How do you think you're going to fight the truth? And the rumors are worse!" Toby ranted.

"What rumors?"

Toby looked distinctly uncomfortable. He'd heard this bit of gossip from Ryan, Josh's intern, who heard it while he was tagging along behind Angela up on the Hill.

"That you set him up. Josh didn't support the President stepping aside, so you set him up, so you could replace him with Angela Blake," Toby admitted.

Leo looked down at his desk and fiddled with a few files.

"Leo, tell me it's not true," Toby begged, disturbed Leo didn't deny it without prompting.

"I didn't set him up on the Carrick thing," Leo said without looking up.

Toby stood before the desk silently fidgeting. He wanted to believe they hadn't stooped so low so as to sandbag one of their own, but the precedent was there.

"I didn't set him up!" Leo repeated angrily.

"You didn't defend him, either. You and I both know what doesn't get said is as important, if not more important, than what does. You let Will go. You pushed Josh out. CJ's on the verge, again, because you tampered with an independent agency report and made her eat it. Who's next? Me? Do I need to start looking for the knife in my back?" Toby was yelling before he was finished.

"Get out," Leo ordered.

The Communications Director stood his ground long enough to prove he wasn't backing down and then left.

"You aren't making friends or influencing people," the President observed, sauntering into his Chief of Staff's office. He had heard the entire conversation.

"It's a goddamn revolving door!" Leo threw up his hands in exasperation.

"Let Josh go, Leo. There's nothing you can do to get him back. Why don't you concentrate on salvaging the ones who are still here?" Bartlet suggested.

"How can you just let him go?"

"I have to," Jed sat down and propped his feet up on the desk, to Leo's displeasure. "As he's told me a couple of times now – it's his decision to make. What do you want to do? Drag him back to the West Wing and chain him to his desk?"

"I should have done that a long time ago," Leo muttered, sitting down in his chair. "It would have saved us a lot of grief."

"Do you know the Greek legend of Prometheus?"

"The guy who had to keep pushing the boulder up the hill? Every time he got to the top, it rolled back down and he had to start over?" Leo knew how the guy felt.

"No, you're thinking of Sisyphus – who was being punished for cheating death, by the way. Prometheus was the Titan who stole fire from the heavens for the benefit of man. As punishment for his impertinence, Zeus tied Prometheus to a cliff. Every day an eagle would come and eat out his liver. Then every night, Zeus renewed it, thereby forcing the Titan to endure another day of punishment."

"How does it end?"

Jed stood up. "How does it end? Hercules killed the eagle with his bow and arrow and freed Prometheus. I'm setting Josh free, Leo."

"Let's go somewhere." Josh flopped down on the bed in the midst of the laundry Donna was attempting to fold.

"We need to go to Boston," she reminded him. "We need to find a place to live."

There had been a great deal of discussion about their relationship and their future since Josh was released from the hospital, culminating in the decision to live together when they moved to Boston.

"I was thinking somewhere more tropical." Two weeks of not working had Josh wound tighter than a toddler on a sugar high.

"You could finally take me to Hawaii," Donna teased, tossing a sock in his face.

"Nah, too much of a tourist trap," Josh smirked. "What about Fiji?"

"And Fiji isn't a tourist trap?"

"Not for Americans," he said excitedly. "We can go up to Boston and find a house and the movers can move everything while we're gone. We come back in time for Christmas with your parents..."

Donna looked down at him like he was crazy. "You want to leave the country for two months? Are you feeling okay? Did your ICD accidentally go off?"

"I'm fine, baby," Josh laughed. He reached for her hand to pull her down on top of him so he could kiss her.

"Two more weeks," Donna murmured. "Dr. Welch said four weeks before you could resume sexual activity."

"Let's go away," Josh whispered softly, brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face. "You and me and a beach somewhere – just the two of us with no distractions and none of this crap."

Eleven weeks later, Donna firmly believed 'going away somewhere' was the smartest thing they'd done in years. They had gone to Boston for a week and found a house. Then they dropped off the face of the planet. Josh's mom and her parents had known how to contact them, but weren't privy to where they'd gone.

The changes in their lives had been subtle but important. A bright emerald now glimmered on the third finger of her left hand. She had declined the traditional diamond, telling Josh he could get her one for their fiftieth wedding anniversary. The emerald seemed fitting considering their wedding had been nontraditional to say the least. Donna had made the mistake of asking Josh what he wanted to do one day and he responded by suggesting they get married. She had agreed because they didn't have anything else to do.

It had been quite the stir when they'd turned up at her parent's home in Madison on Christmas Eve and she'd introduced Josh to them as her husband. The news had been received in Florida with a bit more tact – Mrs. Lyman hadn't accused either of them of having lost their minds.

The past week had been packed with more activity than she was used to after the mindless relaxation of their two-month tropical sabbatical. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day had been spent in Madison. Then they'd flown home to Boston and started unpacking the house. It was a three-story brick colonial with four bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms within walking distance of Harvard.

CJ looked suitably pissed when she greeted them outside security. They hadn't been expecting anyone to pick them up. The only communication they'd had with the White House since they left for Fiji was Charlie's call 'inviting' them to the White House New Year's Eve Party and requesting they come down early in the day. The command performance had set off a flurry of searching through boxes for Josh's tuxedo and shopping for Donna's dress.

"Where in the hell have you two been?" CJ demanded, giving them grief for their disappearance despite her happiness at seeing them again.

"Fiji," the young blonde smiled, pulling away from CJ's embrace. She was surprised with the eagle-eyed Press Secretary didn't notice her ring, but after the reaction of the families both she and Josh were a little gun-shy and had decided to not say anything about the marriage unless they were directly asked.

"Things are good?" CJ asked, giving Josh a hug as well.

"Things are very good," Josh grinned.

"Not for long. The President wants to talk to you. I'm going to drop you off at the White House and take Donna to lunch."

Josh was unsure of what protocol to follow, but fortunately, Charlie was waiting for him at the entrance.

"Technically you still work here," the President's bodyman reminded him as they walked to the security checkpoint.

"I don't have my ID," Josh told the desk agent as he handed over a card to explain why he was going to set the metal detector off.

"It's taken care of, sir," the agent replied, giving the medical alert card back.

"Miss it at all?" Charlie asked. He had never seen Josh so relaxed or tan.

"Would you believe me if I said no?" Josh said, noting they were taking one of the less used corridors to the Residence.

"I might."

Charlie led the way through the Residence and into the Oval Office through the connecting portico.

"He thought you'd prefer the back way," he explained.

"I do. Thank you." Josh shook Charlie's hand and walked through the open door. The first thing he noticed was how haggard President Bartlet looked.

"Good afternoon, sir," he said.

"Josh! My God, you look great!" Bartlet got up from his desk and closed the distance between them, surprising the other man with a hug.

"Thank you, sir."

Jed quickly turned serious. "Look, I have to ask. There's no way you'll considering rescinding your resignation?"

"What's going on, sir?" Josh got the impression things were no better than when he'd left.

"You heard about the leadership shake-up?" Jed was slightly surprised when Josh shook his head no. "New minority leaders, new whips, the whole nine yards and Leo's being pilloried over your extended absence. There are some pretty nasty rumors floating around out there and you dropping off the face of the planet didn't help."

"I'm sorry my vacation caused you difficulty, sir," Josh said, forcing a neutrality he didn't feel into his voice.

"I'm not blaming you, but you asked what was going on," the President pointed out. "Anyway, Angela Blake bailed the week after you got out of the hospital. She told Leo there was no way she was crazy enough to take your job."

"I heard about that," Josh volunteered. Donna had gotten it from CJ in one of their last conversations before they went away.

"Since then, he's been through two other candidates. I'm not even bothering to worry about their names."

"I realize you're in a tough position, sir, but I can't stay," Josh told him with true regret.

"I understand. I thought I'd give it a shot and I know if the circumstances were different, you would."

"Yes, sir."

"And seeing as we summoned you down here on the one night of the year there are no hotel rooms available, Abbey and I would be delighted to have you and Donna stay in the Residence tonight as our guests. Also, you'll be our guest of honor tonight – consider it your going away party."

"Sir, I'm flattered, but that's totally unnecessary on either count. I'm still paying rent on my apartment here and I'd just as soon make an appearance at the party and then go." Josh was uncomfortable with the idea of standing in the limelight right now. Under any other circumstances, sure, but not with the way he was leaving certain things.

"Unnecessary or not, it's what Abbey wants and since she's only been back two weeks, it's what Abbey gets."

"Yes, sir." Josh couldn't help but grin. It hadn't taken long for Donna teach him the importance of keeping one's wife happy.

Josh felt less like the guest of honor and more like a circus sideshow freak as he stood uncomfortably beside the President on the stage, half-listening as the leader of the free world praised his sense of duty and public service and lamented his decision to pursue new opportunities.

There was polite clapping when Bartlet finished and Josh thanked him. He declined the opportunity to speak, saying only it had been an honor to serve.

Donna met him as he stepped down from the dais. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Josh answered giving her a sad smile. "It's just real now, you know?"

"Yeah," she agreed, rubbing his arm.

"You want a drink?" He was trying to extricate himself from the smothering feeling of loss.

"Sure."

"White wine?" Josh offered, starting to back toward the bar.

"That's fine. I'm going to find CJ," she pointed over her shoulder toward the mass of humanity in the room.

Josh made his way across the room trying to ignore the curious eyes he felt on his back. Everyone stared at him as he approached the bartender.

"A white wine and a club soda, please," he ordered. He was saving his one drink of the evening for the champagne at midnight.

"That was quite the send-off the President gave you."

Josh turned around with a drink in each hand, his jaw clenched at the sight of the man who spoke. This confrontation had been brewing for months and he wanted to make it was brief as possible.

"Leo."

"Too bad most of it was bullshit." Leo took another sip from his glass. The scorn in his voice made Josh wonder if it wasn't alcoholic.

"Does it matter? It's over. I'm done. I'm finished. You got what you wanted – me out of the White House. You win, I lose," Josh moved to step past his former mentor.

"Yes, it matters!" Leo blocked his path, oblivious to the gathering crowd circled around them. "It matters when I get blamed for whatever petty reasons you have for throwing in the towel."

"Don't flatter yourself, Leo." Josh snorted, resolve replacing the regret he'd been suffering only moments ago. "You gave up on the things that matter to this staff and this President a long time ago. I'm not leaving this Administration because of you. But you made the decision a whole lot easier."

With those words, Josh turned his back and walked away. He could feel Leo's eyes boring into his back, but he didn't stop moving until he reached Donna's side. She took her drink and looked up at him with some concern. She'd seen the altercation, but hadn't heard any of it.

"Are you okay?" she asked, slipping her arm around his waist.

"Yeah," he answered, meaning it this time. "I am."


End file.
